The Lord of the Coffee: A Sheridan College Student’s Journey to the Tim Horton’s

Nothing really happens in your advertising classes. Generations of postgrads have lived out their lives in that E wing classroom, never truly seeing the world. Until one day, as fate would have it, a great burden fell upon one little advertising student.

You have been tasked with getting the professor a coffee. She has a “roll up the rim” tab, and would like you to cash it in before the 10 minute break is over.

You have heard rumours of the Tim Horton’s line and how perilous it can be at 4pm on a Wednesday. Everyone needs a boost right about now. And in the height of roll-up-the-rim season, students are willing to push and claw their way through the crowd for a single cup. Surely, the Tim Horton’s is no place for a little advertising student.

 

You ask if you can go to the Second Cup to grab her the coffee. She responds “this roll-up tab can only be returned to the Tim Horton’s, the coffee store from whence it was forged”. 

“One more thing”, she says before she sends you away. “Do not use my roll-up-the-rim tab. I’m serious. I will be really pissed off”.

 

You leave the classroom with a heavy heart. Just as you’re entering the computer lab, you run into a few of your classmates. They have decided to get some coffee as well. You decide to brave the line together. 

"You Have My Sword!"

Just as you’re crossing the blue ramp, you realize that you have never been so far from the E wing before. Why are so many of your classes in the E wing? You don’t know. That’s just the way it always has been, since the beginning of time itself.

You approach the Tim Horton’s. The line is much longer and more perilous than you had anticipated. You are confronted by thousands and thousands of angry undergraduate students, and they start attacking you. The Sean Bean character in your life dies immediately.

The fellowship has been separated, and there is no way you can handle that line without all of your friends there. Just then, a creepy little caffeine-junky creature tells you the Tim Horton’s behind the Learning Commons has basically no line. You are not sure whether to trust the creature…she seems to be after your free coffee. But you decide to follow her for now.

"AAAAH Creepy!"

The road to the Tim Horton’s is long and dreary. You wander through many halls, all seeming to lead nowhere. You wonder who it was who designed this campus anyways; perhaps one of the first year architecture students. Most likely they got an F.

You reluctantly let the Gollum lead you through the Dead Marshes.

Just then, you start thinking about how much you need a cup of coffee. You can't imagine having to sit through another hour and a half of this lecture without one. You start to wonder what it would be like if you simply...claimed the free coffee as your own. The draw of the caffeine is strong.

Finally, you make it to the Tim Horton’s. You fight off a pack of undergraduate students and are almost defeated. But as luck would have it, you reach the front of the line safely.

Just as you are about to put in your Professor’s order, you hesitate. There is only one minute left until the break is over. You think to yourself: did I really go through all this and I don’t even get a free drink?

“The coffee is mine!” You exclaim, consumed by power.

Just then, you find a dollar in your pocket. You buy yourself a second coffee and then get the hell out of there.

The End

How to interview well: advice from someone who really, really doesn't

You get a lot of advice when you’re about to start your first career. People tell you to “fake it till you make it”. In interviews, you are told to assume a very professional persona even if it feels unnatural. The one thing that you’re never, ever told to do is “just be yourself”.

Today’s job market is very difficult to break into. In order to get hired, you have to stand out from the pack. Everyone has a degree these days, so in order to stand out it’s important that you have a lot of valuable experiences. The most valuable kind of experience you can have is experience in the industry. In order to gain experience in the industry, you have to get hired. Are you beginning to see the difficulty here?

When you’re trying to impress a potential employer, the most important thing is to believe in yourself and your accomplishments. Of course, this is hard to do when you’re fresh out of school and have no idea what’s expected of you. In order to command respect and admiration, you have to actually know what it feels like to experience success (or be really good at convincing people you do).

"success".

I recently took the Myers Briggs personality test, which revealed that my personality type is ENFP (people use it as an organizational tool to see what jobs they're suited for). For those of you who don’t know, the Myers Briggs test is a not-so-scientific but weirdly accurate personality test. I got Extroverted-Intuitive-Feeling-Perceiving, which means I’m a dreamer, a big thinker, and easily inspired, but I sometimes lose interest in the details of carrying my ideas out. It’s the same personality type that Cher from Clueless, Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and Pippin from Lord of the Rings have. I think Barack Obama is also on the list of famous ENFPs, but you can imagine who I typically remind people of when they first meet me (I’ll give you a hint: it’s not the male, first black President of the United States).

The fact is, I don’t really have the air of someone who can deliver a stellar client presentation or submit an outstanding industry report—at least, not if I’m really being myself. It’s not that I’m not smart or competent; those just aren’t things you would learn about me after one 30 minute interview. And really, that’s only because no one has ever been exactly like me before.

Ima pioneer.

And guess what? You guys are all beautiful, unique snowflakes too! No one is going to know how well you can do a job until you actually do it.

It’s hard to see ourselves as high-powered business people or industry professionals because we have never been those things before. To make things more complicated, when it comes to important career decisions it’s not about seeing ourselves doing a job (which would be easy) but filling a role (which is somewhat more difficult). The problem is, employers tend to have very specific ideas about what it means to fill a role. Some won’t hire you unless you are the prototypical person to normally hold that position. It’s a shame, but any little thing can make a potential employer decide not to hire you. Maybe they don’t like the way you wore your hair that day; maybe they feel like you’re a bit too soft-spoken; maybe they don’t like the giant scary tattoo you have on your face (helpful hint: try not to get a face tattoo before you go to a job interview). The best you can do is try to anticipate what an employer is looking for and do your best to convince him or her that you’re a good fit.

Here’s the amazing and wonderful thing: the people who have the hardest time of filling a role are the ones who are destined to forge a new path. The corporate landscape is ever-changing, and if you’re lucky, you can be the one to change it. Until then, you have to learn your lines, exaggerate, talk yourself up…and fake it till you make it. 

Superbowl PSA is Effective and Genius

A PSA about domestic violence aired during the Super Bowl, and it has all the signs of being extremely effective.

In the advertisement a woman calls 911 and orders a pizza. The officer explains to her that she had called 911 and that they were not in the business of delivering pizzas. However, the woman keeps adding details to her order as if she does not understand the situation. After a while, the officer realizes what is happening: the woman is in an emergency situation and unable to talk about it. He asks her "is anyone in the room with you" and she answers "yes". At the end of the advertisement, he finally promises to send help.

There are so many great things about this PSA. For one thing, it aired during the most-watched television event of the year. Domestic violence has been an issue that has been ignored for far too long. Victims have a tendency to stay silent about their situation given all of the societal pressures we place on them to put up with violence, or worse yet, to blame themselves for their situation. As of right now, the issue has been raised in front of an audience of a hundred million people. Needless to say, this advertisement has sparked a great deal of discussion and millions of spectators around the world promise to continue the conversation long after the buzz dies down.

The advertisement is actually based on a true story, which you can read about here. An officer actually received a 911 call like this and the story has been circulating around the internet for some time now. To tell the story, the advertisement adds powerful imagery of what appears to be an ordinary house. After a while, we start noticing small details like a turned up carpet and a dent in the wall as the phone conversation becomes increasingly more ominous. Finally, the true message of the advertisement is revealed: "when it's hard to talk, it's up to us to listen". This message is central to the issue of domestic abuse. In many cases, it is incredibly difficult to remove yourself from an abusive partner. Therefore, it is our job to watch and listen closely to what the people in our lives are trying to tell us.

Finally, what makes the PSA so effective is how well it grabs your attention and manages to hold it right through to the conclusion. PSAs often rely on grotesque imagery or fear tactics to attract the viewer's attention. These ads are often ineffective because they are either hard to believe or off-putting enough to make you criticise the organisation rather than the issue the organization is raising. In contrast, this PSA presents an issue in an understated yet powerful message that no one can ignore.

As an advertising student, I admire what the NFL has been able to achieve with this PSA. Which brings me to my last point--it was a good move by the NFL to release this ad given all of the recent domestic abuse scandals that it's been a part of. Though I'm inclined not to forgive the NHL for ignoring domestic abuse for so long, I'm pleased to see that it's taken a step in the right direction. For now, the organization has done well to spread the word. However, as consumers, it's our job as to make sure that from now on, it "practices what it preaches". At all times, in any situation, we must keep a watchful eye if we ever hope to end domestic violence.

How to Survive a Recruiting Event

This past week, I went to my very first recruiting event at Sheridan College. Against everyone’s advice, I didn’t spend time researching the companies who were going to be there. I didn’t update my resume, I didn’t design eye-catching business cards, and I didn’t take the time to make sure that my blazer was wrinkle-free. But these are all small details. Last Wednesday, I learned that the most important thing about recruiting events is not how you look or what you bring, but how you present yourself to potential employers. So in this blog post, I’m going to let you in on the dos and don’ts of recruiting events. Consider this post a Career Development advice column from someone who really, really knows what they are doing. If you haven’t already guessed, I learned most of these the hard way.

• Don’t pretend you know what a company does when you really don’t. I thought I could get away with saying “I have certainly seen some of the advertisements your agency produces, but I have yet to discover what philosophies and corporate practices make the company so successful and unique”. To this, the recruiter said “well we’re actually exclusively a research and measurement company, so that makes us pretty unique…compared to advertising agencies”. It’s pretty hard to recover from that one.

• Don’t let people know you aren’t qualified for a position. There was one recruiter who was looking for someone with a background in software development to create the website. I responded “what a coincidence! I also need someone like that to help set up my LinkedIn profile, which I can’t figure out”. He didn’t laugh.

 

• Don’t stand around and wait for a table to clear up. Be aggressive, or there is a very real chance that you will be standing awkwardly in the middle of the room for hours.

• If there is swag on the table, grab it all up. Those pens are there for you! Don’t ever miss an opportunity to get free things.

• Before you approach a recruiter, think really hard: “have I met this guy already?” I cannot stress this point enough. It is really difficult to convince a person that you are interested in their company if you don’t remember talking about it 20 minutes before.

I hope this list has been helpful to you. I know that I have learned a lot. Now that I know what to expect, I can’t wait for my next recruiting event. Well, maybe I can wait a little bit… at least until all of this blows over.

 

Terrible Jokes About Advertising

Hey, guys!

So it occurred to me today that there are not nearly enough jokes about advertising students. Therefore, I took the liberty of writing a few of my own. Everyone brace yourselves--hilarity is about to ensue.



What did the 12-99 title say to the advertising student?

I’m all about that base  

How many advertising postgraduate students at Sheridan College does it take to screw in a light bulb?

PFFFFT the entire class! So yeah just that one guy.

An advertising student picks up a garbage can, dumps it on his head, and then runs around campus yelling and chasing people. His Professor asks "what are you doing?" The student responds "trying to get some gross impressions".

Why did the advertising student throw hornet’s nests at all of his Facebook friends? 

He was trying to engage in Swarm marketing


Why did no one show up to the Sheridan Advertising Association meeting? 

I don’t know, I guess they didn’t really get the message out there…

An advertising student walks into a mattress store. Immediately, they pull out a knife and start poking holes in all of the mattresses. A sales representative runs over and yells “what do you think you are doing!?” The advertising student responds “I’m looking for something”. The sales representative goes “what could you possibly be looking for inside a mattress?” The student responds “I’m trying to have a springsight."

What's black and white and red all over?

A print advertisement in a newspaper that’s black plus one colour

What did the Sheridan student say to the HR representative at the advertising agency?

In addition to having extensive experience generating an advertising campaign, I am proficient in various industry-specific software including Adobe InDesign and Nielsen Clear Decisions. Yah she nailed that interview.