Sheridan College: Flow Chart Edition

Hi everyone,

Today, I thought I would make some helpful flow charts for anyone interested in what student life is like. Please take a look, and be honest! These charts are extremely well-constructed, and if used properly, can tell you everything you need to know about life at Sheridan College in the postgraduate advertising program.

You always have media homework.

It's difficult to get around without a parking pass. If you're unfortunate enough to be parking off-campus, make sure it's somewhere that hasn't ticketed or towed in living memory. If you're me, this won't matter and you will get towed anyways.

There are so many different roles you can play within the advertising world. If you're willing to work hard, you can go far in this industry.

When it comes to getting involved in extra-curricular activities, you should take every opportunity that comes your way. Unless, of course, it's going to be literal torture to show up.

You're going to be very, very busy if you enrol in an advertising program.

You cannot eat in the learning commons.

The point here is that everyone should think about enrolling in a postgraduate program. There's always value in gaining a few extra skills, and having a certificate can't hurt your job prospects. If I've learned anything from this year at Sheridan College, it's that a postgraduate program can benefit anyone, from any background, at any stage in their life.

And finally...the mammoth:

I hope these flow charts have been helpful. Now, I'm wondering what I can learn from you. What is student life like for you? Have you ever been towed from the plaza across the street? Have you ever tried to eat in the learning commons? Please leave your comments below.

The Lord of the Coffee: A Sheridan College Student’s Journey to the Tim Horton’s

Nothing really happens in your advertising classes. Generations of postgrads have lived out their lives in that E wing classroom, never truly seeing the world. Until one day, as fate would have it, a great burden fell upon one little advertising student.

You have been tasked with getting the professor a coffee. She has a “roll up the rim” tab, and would like you to cash it in before the 10 minute break is over.

You have heard rumours of the Tim Horton’s line and how perilous it can be at 4pm on a Wednesday. Everyone needs a boost right about now. And in the height of roll-up-the-rim season, students are willing to push and claw their way through the crowd for a single cup. Surely, the Tim Horton’s is no place for a little advertising student.

 

You ask if you can go to the Second Cup to grab her the coffee. She responds “this roll-up tab can only be returned to the Tim Horton’s, the coffee store from whence it was forged”. 

“One more thing”, she says before she sends you away. “Do not use my roll-up-the-rim tab. I’m serious. I will be really pissed off”.

 

You leave the classroom with a heavy heart. Just as you’re entering the computer lab, you run into a few of your classmates. They have decided to get some coffee as well. You decide to brave the line together. 

"You Have My Sword!"

Just as you’re crossing the blue ramp, you realize that you have never been so far from the E wing before. Why are so many of your classes in the E wing? You don’t know. That’s just the way it always has been, since the beginning of time itself.

You approach the Tim Horton’s. The line is much longer and more perilous than you had anticipated. You are confronted by thousands and thousands of angry undergraduate students, and they start attacking you. The Sean Bean character in your life dies immediately.

The fellowship has been separated, and there is no way you can handle that line without all of your friends there. Just then, a creepy little caffeine-junky creature tells you the Tim Horton’s behind the Learning Commons has basically no line. You are not sure whether to trust the creature…she seems to be after your free coffee. But you decide to follow her for now.

"AAAAH Creepy!"

The road to the Tim Horton’s is long and dreary. You wander through many halls, all seeming to lead nowhere. You wonder who it was who designed this campus anyways; perhaps one of the first year architecture students. Most likely they got an F.

You reluctantly let the Gollum lead you through the Dead Marshes.

Just then, you start thinking about how much you need a cup of coffee. You can't imagine having to sit through another hour and a half of this lecture without one. You start to wonder what it would be like if you simply...claimed the free coffee as your own. The draw of the caffeine is strong.

Finally, you make it to the Tim Horton’s. You fight off a pack of undergraduate students and are almost defeated. But as luck would have it, you reach the front of the line safely.

Just as you are about to put in your Professor’s order, you hesitate. There is only one minute left until the break is over. You think to yourself: did I really go through all this and I don’t even get a free drink?

“The coffee is mine!” You exclaim, consumed by power.

Just then, you find a dollar in your pocket. You buy yourself a second coffee and then get the hell out of there.

The End

Terrible Jokes About Advertising

Hey, guys!

So it occurred to me today that there are not nearly enough jokes about advertising students. Therefore, I took the liberty of writing a few of my own. Everyone brace yourselves--hilarity is about to ensue.



What did the 12-99 title say to the advertising student?

I’m all about that base  

How many advertising postgraduate students at Sheridan College does it take to screw in a light bulb?

PFFFFT the entire class! So yeah just that one guy.

An advertising student picks up a garbage can, dumps it on his head, and then runs around campus yelling and chasing people. His Professor asks "what are you doing?" The student responds "trying to get some gross impressions".

Why did the advertising student throw hornet’s nests at all of his Facebook friends? 

He was trying to engage in Swarm marketing


Why did no one show up to the Sheridan Advertising Association meeting? 

I don’t know, I guess they didn’t really get the message out there…

An advertising student walks into a mattress store. Immediately, they pull out a knife and start poking holes in all of the mattresses. A sales representative runs over and yells “what do you think you are doing!?” The advertising student responds “I’m looking for something”. The sales representative goes “what could you possibly be looking for inside a mattress?” The student responds “I’m trying to have a springsight."

What's black and white and red all over?

A print advertisement in a newspaper that’s black plus one colour

What did the Sheridan student say to the HR representative at the advertising agency?

In addition to having extensive experience generating an advertising campaign, I am proficient in various industry-specific software including Adobe InDesign and Nielsen Clear Decisions. Yah she nailed that interview.